Crown
I set a blogging goal of 1 blog post per week. I have not delivered on the promise. I have been working my ass off though, and when it gets right down to it, I be ti-RED when I get home. You would think with the daily content marketing I do (creating and implementing social media plans for campaigns with major brands, PLUS creating social media plans/strategies for conferences and festivals that I would have a gaggle of things to write about, but that's not always the case.
I remember when I had an online journal in the early 2000's where I shared my hopes, dreams and frustrations. Then I manifested some of those dreams and let go of some of those frustrations and made it to NYC in 2005. I am still here. I realized tonight that when I attempted to pick the journaling habit back up in New York I was writing about the doing, no longer really dreaming or hoping not even writing about the journey but about the fact that I felt I should have been further along. Thats where I lost my footing. It was also around this time that I discovered BryanBoy and I wanted to be like him: fierce, fashionable, a travelista - before that was a term and blogging was a business with influencers, segmented conferences, and ad campaigns; but I digress.
But, recently something within me has shifted and a new sense of urgency and purpose has kicked in. I know when a season has or is changing. And a NEW wind is blowing in my direction.
I feel it, smell it, and am running towards it. The path is clearer. Its not always perfect or kind and it certainly isn't stress free but I am moving in faith and trying to stay on MY DAMN PATH, no one else's just mine.
Above, last summer around 5:30am on the set of -- the Martin Scorsese/Mick Jagger HBO pilot. See those bags under my eyes? I checked in at 6:30pm the previous day and more or less went into hair/makeup. The holding was decent, inside the basement of a church actually in my neighborhood. Look at God, wont he do it - he made the set come to me. At least thats how I like to think. Shucks. Anyway, we didn't film inside the church, but rather inside of the Hoyt–Schermerhorn subway stop in Brooklyn. I ran into a past collaborator, from when I worked at TIWIMUTA magazine. That was...interesting. In any event, I hope my scene makes it in. I try not to get too excited and just be grateful for the role. Plus I didn't have any lines. BUT I did get to see Martin Scorsese, I sat right in front of him. It was great. He walked over with his assistant and the assistant basically conceptualized what I was doing "sitting, waiting for the next train" unlike most of the extras. The actors behind me were actually IN the scene. Marty then smiled real wide at me, nodded his head and said "love it, she stays here" and confirmed my position in the scene. That alone was worth the under eye bags.
I am longing to act again. Be on set exchanging another kind of energy. A energy where you just lose yourself in another world, lending your body to something else. Hopefully anointed by the Lord, because I just can't deal with the occult. Not on today. With that said I am working to merge my worlds acting & social media to give me more freedom and finances to pursue acting on a consistent basis. I can't say that I will write that 1 blog post per week though, and while I set that goal, I don't think I wrote it down and created a strategy with benchmarks to support it. I do have more work to do in my current position at Black Enterprise and I am not going to leave before that work is done. But I won't allow myself to get removed from my path like I did when I was just getting settled in New York.
They will never take my crown. - Jay-z
